3 Things I Have Learned From My Son- 3 mins
Learning Matters Of The Heart
I was not keen on getting married. I did.
It was hard, but I managed
I really did not want kids. We did.
My life was turned upside down.
My idea of a good time is hustling. I love to work, love to network, and love to travel. My nicknames over the years have included “turbo” & “caffeine”. I am high energy, 1000’s of ideas, and usually working on too many things at one time.
When I would meet with people a few years ago, they often seem impressed with what I had done, what I was doing, and what my current goals were. But they shouldn’t have been.
My time, energy, and money were about one thing -> me.
Then I had a son.
He has been my greatest love and my greatest teacher in his short life so far.
What is important
He has taught me that behind all of the business deals, negotiations, goals, and great times are people and relationships. Long before business was, and long after any current business ends, people were and will be engaging one another, making memories, and developing bonds.
Business is a layer on top of this. It is a way we pool resources, solve problems, exchange value, and provide for our relationships. Without work, transactions, and goals humanity could easily move on. However, without humanity the whole system crashes and is pointless.
Which one is more important?
What is love
My son has taught me what real, pure love actually is. To love for love’s sake. Not because someone is kind, likable, valuable, interesting, beneficial, value filled, pretty, handsome, funny, giving, or even a good person. Just because they are.
Truthfully this is something I could never have grasped until now. To love just because.
- his attitude,
- his mess,
- his decisions, or
- his ability
he is loved by me more than I could ever describe in words.
What if I could bring this love to the world around me? To the frustrating interactions throughout my day, the retail environments that stress me out, the co workers with whom I disagree, or the people I encounter who are not my “type”.
What if I loved them because they were part of humanity — and nothing more?
What if we all did?
What is sacrifice
He taught me what real sacrifice feels like.
I have always been a giver — of time, of money, of whatever was needed to help. I like helping, I like being asked. The motives were always selfish as you can see. True sacrifice is not what you do, but the heart from which you do it.
If my son had the slightest desire to try acting, I would leave my work, move to a new city where he would have an opportunity to do so despite the setbacks or lack opportunity in my life. I wouldn’t be disappointed, annoyed, or mad that I had to. I would love to do that for him. It would truly be my pleasure.
Sacrifice is from the heart. Where before I would give for me, today I would be willing to give but for others. I have a heart today that I did not have before.
What if we all had this heart. That truly put others first. Not just when it was mutually beneficial.
The hard part is that sacrifice will put you back, and often hurt. Doing this joyfully is predicated on the second lesson my son taught me, true love. To give and do it with joy actually brings more contentment than I could every describe.
Sure, it is easier to have these revelations with my own son, my flesh and blood. However, once I learned these things; really experienced them in my heart — they have flowed into other parts of my life. My dealings with people all around me have changed. My heart towards others has shifted.
What I saw as progress before now often looks like foolishness.
What I often saw as a waste of time before now looks like eternal wisdom and some the best time investments we can make.
Having a son has changed my life, and I am eternally grateful to him for that.
Thank you Hudson.